Hey there, if you’re new here, I usually make bookish content, but this blog is obviously not a bookish blog. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, and I’ve been feeling pretty good these past few weeks, but I feel like I’m just kind of funk today, so I wanted to do a day where I just do things that make me feel better, so one of those things is going to be going without social media for the whole day. And I wanted to document this just because, one, I hope this makes anyone who’s feeling kind of funky feel better, and, two, I feel like whenever I document my experiences or whenever I vlog things like these past few months, it’s made me feel better because it makes me focus on the nice things in life and the good things that are happening in my day-to-day life.

I feel like if anyone asked me how my2020 has been going, I think like with a lot of people, I would say that it’s been pretty crap. But like what I said I feel like filming these types of things kind of grounds me and helps me reframe my thinking so that it’s not so negative. So, the reason why I wanted to take a day off of social media and why that makes me feel better like I’m sure it makes a lot of people feel better is because I just don’t like feeling so connected to everybody all the time. And I think constantly scrolling on my different apps and stuff, I can kind of get stuck having the same patterns of thoughts because of the way the algorithm works like it knows what I want to see based off on my past searches and watch history and all those things, right? So, I kind of have the same train of thoughts over and over the whole day – I don’t know that makes sense.

So, I’m kind of hoping also by taking this day off of social media, maybe I’ll have some thoughts that I’m not manufactured to have if that makes sense. It kind of sounds like a conspiracy, like I’m just talking crap. I think part of the reason why I feel like I’m in a funk, and which I’m sure can be very relatable to everybody is just because I didn’t think that this whole pandemic would last so long. I have a list of things – well, I’m going to make a list of things that make me feel better. So, I’m just gonna – I’m just gonna do that now.

I started laughing to myself because I intended to make a really nice meal and stuff, but then I opened the fridge and saw that… I have this. It’s a salad. it’s a ready-made salad, so I’m just gonna have this because I think this counts as a good meal, and then I also have leftover cake from my birthday, um… so I’m just gonna eat this. [Music.] Not gonna lie, I already feel a lot better, so part of me is thinking maybe I was just hungry?

Hello! So, I’m sitting next to this candle because I thought that the light would be cool to look at. I ended up cleaning for a really long time, and I got really into it. So, while I was cleaning, I didn’t really think about picking up my phone or anything or any other thoughts because I was just really engrossed in that task. But after I finished, I was writing for a bit, and then I – the funk kind of overtook me, so then I called my sister and I was talking to my sister for a while, and that made me feel a lot better, and so that’s basically where we’re at right now. Right after I stopped cleaning was when I had the biggest urge to reach for my phone. I actually tried to do this whole no social media thing for a day yesterday, but I ended up failing because I kept checking my youtube comments. That’s the thing that I check the most, and I think it’s because there’s an addictive aspect to it, like I like seeing the notification bell all lit up and knowing that if I click on it there’ll be a nice comment or something for me.

And then I think another part of it is that I feel kind of bad, or I don’t like letting the comments sit and going unanswered. And then I think I have a similar issue with Instagram like I’m not attached to my likes on my photos and stuff. I’m more attached to comments and DMS, which is kind of funny and ironic because, in my personal life, I kind of am crap at replying to people right away. And I also don’t really use my personal social media accounts that much, like I rarely use my personal Instagram and Facebook, and I don’t even have a personal Twitter account.

without social media

So, I’ve been really trying to find a balance between having all these online hobbies, but also being a person who doesn’t really like to use social media that often. [but still does lol. And this is kind of related, but I’ve been wanting to write a blog post about online personas because there’s this weekly blogging discussion meme where like every week this blogger, Eternity Books, gives out a topic that bloggers can make posts about, so one of the topics for last month was online personas, and I wanted to write something for that, but I just never finished my post for that because I was kind of like rambling a little bit in it, and I didn’t really know what I wanted to say, like what I wanted the focal message to be. And so I was thinking about that and mentioning it right now because, as I mentioned, I don’t really use my personal social media accounts, but I use my social media accounts attached to my different hobbies a lot more. So, it kind of feels like to the people in my real life who don’t know that I have these hobbies – it feels like I have a different side like I’m almost giving off a different persona online if they were to come across me online. But it also – I don’t really feel like I’m being fake ever online because it’s just a different part of me. Maybe certain parts about my personality are heightened when I present myself online, like my love for books or maybe my more like serious thoughts [but not that serious lol] that I don’t necessarily always talk about with other people in my[personal] life. And so I always want to be as real as I can be both online and offline, but I also know that I need to have my own spaces to express myself in different ways, both offline and online – I don’t know if I’m making sense. I’m kind of just talking out of my butt.

I watched this video. It was a red wine talk by Damon Dominique. He’s this YouTuber that I really like. But he was talking about internet personalities. Anything he feels comfortable talking about with his friends [offline], he feels comfortable revealing online also. And I don’t know if I feel the same way like I get the whole idea that we should just be ourselves openly freely, but I also know that me as a person, I’m not completely comfortable doing that just because maybe I’m not confident enough to be that way, but I also think that if I was that confident, I don’t know if I would want to reveal everything about my life online like I like privacy. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m just kind of rambling right now. I don’t know how much of this I’m going to keep in the video, but it’s been something that I’ve been wanting to talk about, and I figured that I can just shove it into this video. So, I hope this is not annoying. This is not deep or serious. I don’t know. Let me know your thoughts on this? I don’t know if I’m gonna follow the rest of my list. I think I’m just gonna eat dinner, and then maybe watch a movie or something.

I’m just gonna do what feels right to me at the moment. “What I see here is nothing but a shell.” “What is most important is what is invisible.” I have no idea what the whole point of this video was. It was kind of a mess. I ended up not doing all the things that I planned to do, but I still went to bed feeling a lot better. I already knew this, but I use social media to avoid confronting unpleasant thoughts. Taking this day off of social media when I already had woken up to my mind racing was bound to have some sort of consequence, and it was, fortunately, a good one. The thing that lifted up my spirits the most was definitely calling my sister, and taking this day off of social media definitely pushed me to do so.

It was really nice to unbottle some feelings, and she really helped me stop catastrophizing certain problems I was having, and I do have a renewed sense of how manageable they all are. If you’re someone who doesn’t like reaching out to people because you feel like your problems are negligible or that you’re being a burden, I get that. I feel the same way. But 90% of the time that I have reached out to someone, I didn’t feel like I was being a nuisance to them. There’s a ton of resources online too and places you can call or text if you’d rather speak to someone removed from your life, and I’m sure social media itself can connect you to someone who is willing to listen to you. And if you watched this far – hello! Thank you! Bless your soul! Check up on the people in your life. I know that this past year I definitely folded inward, and I’m still working on being more responsive to the people that I care about. But as much as we tell people to reach out if they need help, I think we should also be active in making it easier for people to open up. So, that’s all for this blog.

Thank you for reading if you reading this far! It really – it really wasn’t that serious. Thank you for reading again if you’re reading this far. Feel free to comment if you want to. and… bye! 🙂

By admin

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