Today we’re going to be talking about head versus heart who Julia listen to what the difference between our head ourEagle our thoughts and our was guiding us from within from the heart so lets back right in the head versus the heart I gotta say that this is one thing that I hear a lot when I work with clients or even with my friends we talk a lot about you know how to be guided by our intuition our wisdom our heart our true self and also not kind of inner fight in their resistance that can happen we’re really confused between the head and all the thoughts are going on analytical stuff that happens up here and what’s going on in the heart.
so today let’s getstraight to it and let’s find out what the actual difference is when we’reabout it by the heart versus when we’re by guided by our head because in thelast two or three videos we talked about letting go and surrendering right andthis simple surrendering and kind of falling back into the true self but whatif we are actually confused about who that true self actually is what we can’treally differentiate between our thoughts and our wisdom right betweenour mind and our heart how can we actually redefine womanhood choose youknow a lifestyle decisions that are actually right for us when we’re notclear about that so this is the video to dissect that and to really hone in verysimply the difference between the head and the heart and how we can then veryclearly choose what’s right for us feels good so well thing order I do wantto mention about the head or the mind is that is is constant it’s like we havethis monkey mind and it will just go on and on especially if we are very unawareof it in fact there is a voice inside of my head that is documenting thedocumenting but it’s like when you’re watching a documentary movie and there’sa subtitle there’s always one talking behind this exact night documentarymovies are actually quite educational and very nice but in this case we liveour life in here so voice ah narrating that’s the word.
I was looking forthere’s someone narrating our life the whole time and usually there’s ajudgment this is bad this is good I like this I don’t like thisolder during that happening how does that impact me how does that relate tomyself how is the situation personal right so that’s usually a narrative thathas happened within our head because it just chatters in the background right ifwe don’t actually have a good sense of the tools of mindnow this mental chatter is going on and on and on and usually it is a peacefulgoing we might have spaces of science in between we might settle into a reallynice feeling within our body or be captured by beauty and then I’ll juststop momentarily or even if you’re really too slow then you might noticethat you there aren’t as much mental chatter so one thing that I really wantto hone in here for you and with you is that the mind the head jumps back andforth in its own narrative and conversation to just give you an examplesay you make a mistake right so you’re still a glass or you screw uppublic speaking a lot of people and then there’s voice in your headthat’s oh you screwed up that was terrible or oh my goodness what arepeople going to think of me now and then if you’re relatively aware you mightactually begin to notice these soft and you might say oh hey I’m judging myselfhey I’m probably negatively to myself and another boy not comes in like oh Ishouldn’t judge myself works well I don’t want to feel this way or bulletslet’s let’s think about something else or what I look and I think about nextsteps that can kind of kind of go fear myself away from the thoughts of selfjudgment or whatever and you’re like okay positive thinking well this wasgood about the presentation or I can deflect it up it’ll be okay right sothis is nearly thick that doesn’t really make sense.
because first you’re going to beating yourself up and then the next thing you do is kind of making yourself feel better yet not really and it just tastes sighs, again and again, and again and again and even if you find yourself in a situation where you’re making a big decision right and this is kind of the meaning of this video to really help you make those big decisions in your life to be able to find that guidance which one do you really want to listen to the head on a heart right what you might notice about the head is that it talks back and forth so think about past relationships or conflicts you just think about it oh that was good this is bad or a lot of initiatives at that but open it is this clipping better or maybe you analyze the past and you think okay that was great so
maybe I should on this are you thinking to futuring like oh I should do this but what about that so there’s a lot of back-and-forth ping-pong that almost gets nowhere you might find something in your thoughts again of a certain situation right as we mentioned in the past video of Webster enduring how if we don’t really fully process something that will come up right in a kind of unconscious mind so that’s something to be aware of that when it comes to our mind our head it’s moving a lot logical and that’s we’re using it as a tool to be reasonable and to be logical as a tool but by itself when it happens old narrative has its own thoughts running it doesn’t really make sense because I jumped on one perspective to another it’s like a conversation that keeps ongoing we’re all having a true stance for anything so it can cheer you off it and beat you down it can analyze a situation to be great and then the next moment you might feel badly about something regarding the same situation
so if I’mnervous that’s really confusing and then never really gets anywhere it might berepeating the same things over and over again especially if it’s something thatwe really hold on to in don’t wish to let go of it like we mentioned the lastvideo but in general it’s just a load of work a load of conversation andnarrative that just happens right so let’s take a moment to really feel intothat my mind or my thoughts on autopilot it says this ongoing conversation thatusually actually circles around and around again or it actually takesmultiple sides and keep on going and all those argued with itselfdebating back-and-forth picking all sides so that’s confusing and I lovesaying for myself being peaceful looking at it in this perspective it doesn’tfeel very reliable right I wouldn’t really depend on that voice in my headto make big decisions in my life it doesn’t feel quite dependable andreliable because it seems to just be going back and forthfor its own sake versus my own good now let’s examine the heart a little bit andwhat that really is because by the heart you can sing I heard being led by loveyou’re being led by your intuition you’re being led by kind of your the thethe old wise feminine within whatever you want to call it the true self rightthere many words that we can kind of name coming from the heart so when wasthe last time that you really felt an insight.
when it’s something intuitivethat you just knew was deeper voice something that was urging you to doperhaps only different that you knew that it was coming from this deep placewithin you and it was almost hard to ignore because that voice was quitestrong and quite convincing so very simple so one of them what I give you isthat when I started the feminine space I had looked throughout going to evenstart illumise community or Regan coachingsolely women but I did have two intuitive insight to read a book ongoddesses and that came up again and again it was very clear what that boyswere that consignee wanted me to do and I took action upon it and let me do thisand there were other moments in my life where my guys do something like to teachyoga on the line and I excited me but scare me at the same time but I wentwith it anyways and that led me to actually going more into spiritualityand discovering yoga finding deeper parts of myself and there are momentsalso aware in a conflict or risk and people men wise who don’t know who Idon’t with a jive with but I feel like if tension building oris done there’s conflict right in the air I feel part of me wanting to beright wanting to justify wanting to justify and prove the self or prove myopinion but also feel a part of me that wants to let everything go my guards goeverything goes.
and I can actually see the other person and really connect tohim or her on a human level like a heart to heart level so as I scroll all theseexperiences that I’ve had what do you do that what is it that youfeel do you feel guided by this energy to does it feel calming does it feelsturdy does it have a depth to it but at thesame time very not complicated at all it’s really simple and it’s guided andwhat it wants you to do so what I’ve always felt again and again isthat when we’re guided by otheir mind where it’s pretty much it could be quiteemotionally then it could be just ping-pong back andforth of thoughts that are causing you stress more worries more anxiety worryabout the future well in the heart is an invitation and it has this depth to itand it might even come within from this voice that sounds really strong like itbarely recognizes that it’s your own but it is so the more you begin to choose tolisten from the heart and opening ourselves up and surrendering to thisexperience the more we’re actually able to hear it so that is a really bigdifference between a heart in its simplicity and its ways it’s groundingand also how it always comes from a place of service and love although wemight confuse our response to this invitation which is you know beingfearful a bit being afraid of it right but that’s our it could be just ourresponse but it’s not a message from the heart to make you afraidwhile Vernon’s in the mind is relatively chaotic and there’s a huge infinite listof stuff that you can get through it’s like building your case right againstthis for in this and never seems to end and never see.
if we can have enoughinformation and the head will go on and on and on like that well if you want tobe guided by your heart to make it really bigor even just small decisions in your life it feels very simple and it feelslike it’s just a clear next step it’s never about my many many years we’rewearing to the future it’s just that guided next step for you which makesthings a lot less overwhelming than we actually make it so I hope that thisvideo has really helped you to differentiate between what’s thedifference between our mind or head a heart cuz I’m right I do admit it canbe very confusing but that is because we don’t actually allow ourselves to feelto slow down and just surrender to this experience of actually feeling thedepths of it because being guided by the heart does require you to open up inthis way and it’s very beautiful once we get to know it it could be a bit scaryif we haven’t been there if we have an immoral house to let go and surrenderthen it’s just a lot of buildup of a path that’s kind of held here to paythat we haven’t felt but once we move through all of that we’re much more ableto then feel.
what our heart is actually asking us to do so I hope you like this video make sure to give it a thumbs up subscribe if you enjoyed it and share below in the comments seriously what positions have you made in your life now you can look upon back upon it it was really gutted by your heart and what does it does have you made for happening in the head and how did it turn out rights it gives it a little reflection and make sure to start the conversation below that we can really help one another in this process so thanks for being here and I hope to see you tomorrow again for another video as we go on this journey to redefine womanhood and to redesign a life that just feels right for us and that is uniquely our own so thank you for showing up for yourself and I’ll see you soon bye That’s why addressing questions is less about finding the right answer for the right question and more about ministering to the individual. So here’s how we begin. We listen. We really listen. Not just to their question but to the experiences and perceptions of those experiences that lie behind those questions. I don’t say that to ignore the history or the doctrine that’s behind those questions, but at the root of those is a person who may be struggling, and that’s the person that we need to be listening to. When people come with historical or doctrinal questions, I’ve seen that typically those are not purely historical or only doctrinal, those are head issues.
But behind them, there always seems to be a heart experience or feeling that’s driving the question in the first place. So listen to the questions of the head, but don’t ignore the issues of the heart. I remember talking with one woman who had questions about plural marriage. I said, “Great let’s talk about it. Do you want to go historical, do you want to go sociological, do you want to go doctrinal, scriptural, I’m here to help.” We probably spent two hours talking about plural marriage. But the longer we talked, the more I realized that as I was aiming for her head, her heart was still missing the point. So I asked her more about her circumstance and her situation. In other words, I really began to listen. And this young woman, approaching her 31stbirthday, expressed her concern that by the time she ever gets married, will she meet a widower that’s already been sealed to someone else? Will she be assigned to someone in the next life? All of a sudden I realized, her questions about plural marriage were not confined to books, they were coming out of her life. So instead of addressing 19th-century plural marriage, we talked about her experience right here, right now—unmet expectations and the struggle of coming to grips with those kinds of things. And once the conversation settled both the head and the heart, we could actually make some progress together. Here’s the thing, how we listen really matters. It’s one of the reasons that sending somebody to a cold website to be able to answer all of their historical questions, doesn’t tend to work very well. We need to be able to empathize with the person, validate what they’re feeling—the experience they’ve had and the perceptions that they bring to the table. Jesus was always this way. He settled fears before He addressed questions, and we can do the same. When we talk about things that really matter, we usually refer to it as “getting to the heart of the matter,” and it’s the heart that we need to be aiming at, whether we’re addressing somebody else’s questions or really pondering our own. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves,
“Why am I asking this question? What experiences or feelings are driving it?” That was one of the things that brought JosephSmith to the Sacred Grove, to begin with. He had a head question, “What church should I join?” But he also had a heart question, “Am I worthy of God’s love? Can I be forgiven of my sins?” And according to one of the earlier accounts of the First Vision, God responded to the heart question before He responded to Joseph’shead question. But here’s a word of caution. Our efforts to listen, to empathize, to validate should never be intended to sidestep the questions that a person really has. Our testimony can never be a trump card that we lay down to avoid some kind of difficult conversation, or if we don’t want to admit that we don’t have an answer or haven’t done our homework.
We need to be able to address the questions of the head at the same time that we’re involving the feelings and experiences of the heart. When Joseph Smith began his search for truth and wondered, “How shall I know it?” God offered to tutor him through the mind and the heart. And Joseph Smith was eventually able to say, “I have learned for me.” That’s our goal, to be able to say that we have learned for ourselves, and it’ll come through the same process—the exertions of the mind and the discernment of the heart. It’s how we’ll eventually be able to say with Joseph, “I know it, and I know that God knows it.” If you’re more of an intellectual, let yourself lean into the feelings that you have about things. If you’re more emotional, then lean in the direction of the mind, and study things more diligently. Wherever you happen to be, move into that space of balance where God can address both targets. If we can stay centered on both legs—reason and revelation, the intellect and the emotion, the mind and the heart—we’ll be ready for anything that comes our way. And when we have that kind of strength, we can act as a stabilizing influence in the lives of those around us. Thank you so much for joining me for this one-on-one.